2023年5月6日 星期六

5 signs you're dating a loser instead of a BHM


You must make every effort.

If you've been the one calling, courting, making plans, reaching out… Chances are, he's not that invested in the BBW dating relationship. Here's the thing: it's not some old fashioned, "I need him to chase me, I sniff salts, wave a handkerchief," mentality. It's a fact of life that a man will always go after what he really wants. For any relationship, friendship, or other relationship, if the effort is not balanced, there is no way out.

He only texts, never calls.

No, millennials, you don't have a pass here. I know texting is the greatest invention of all time, but you can't build a solid foundation for a relationship just by texting. It's not going to work. Part of the fun and magic of a new curvy dating relationship is talking on the phone until 2 and 3 a.m. You must get up early the next morning. It takes real time, energy and emotion, not just endless emoticons. (but I do like some of my emoticons. And GIF).

His perfect date is "Netflix and chill."

This is self-evident. You can tell a lot about a person's feelings for your time of day when he contacts you: 2pm in the middle of the day he's busy, but hopefully you know what he's thinking about you, or 2pm when he gets together with his buddies and hopes you can come over. If it's always the latter, chances are he's admiring your loot, not your beauty.

His views on chivalry were Dutch treat.

At least he doesn't offer to pay on the first BBW date. Even if you're a feminist, feminist, "I have this" type of girl, I still think it's gentlemanly for a man to pay you on your first hookup date. Or at least offer, so you can decide whether or not to let him come.

You only hear from him occasionally.

If the only way he's consistent is if he's inconsistent, chances are he'll rotate you with several other women. If you don't have a problem with it, stick with it and see if things change or if communication gets better. But be prepared for the fact that you may invest in this situation in the short term but end up playing it for the long term. If he's completely unstable, has A.D.H.D. and his attention has been pulled in 27 different directions since the first day of the date, it's best to say "thank you, next" and leave before you get attached to him.

Obviously, it takes a while for a new BBW tinder hookup relationship to start, so I give him at least a couple of weeks or a month before I make a judgment about his bad or sexy state. But if you've seen him for a while, and he often checks two or more of these boxes, my magic eight ball will tell you the outlook isn't good. A person is usually quick to show you who they are, so if he holds up that useless flag, it's time for you to say goodbye. Don't look back. Your Mr.Right is waiting.